The mother of missing New Hampshire teenager Abigail Hernandez talks to her daughter often in her house and has moments of relief when she sees the girl in her sleep.
But when Zenya Hernandez awakes, she returns to the nightmare that began when her daughter vanished two months ago.
Zenya Hernandez told ABC News that she looks forward to sleep.
"I see Abby in my sleep sometimes and it's really good…I don't want to wake up then I wake up and I'm like this is a nightmare,'' Hernandez told ABC News.
"A lot of people say I'm living like the worse thing a parent can live through which is very hard," Hernandez said. "But I'm relieved every day that we don't have bad news…that is the good news that we do not have bad news."
It was two months ago today that Abby Hernandez vanished from the picturesque New Hampshire town of North Conway.
Her mother spoke to ABC News in an exclusive interview just days after the FBI announced they were very concerned about Abby's safety and not have ruled out that the teen could have been snatched.
The FBI also revealed last week that Abigail has sent a letter to her mother after she disappeared. The letter was dated Oct. 22 and postmarked Oct. 23. Investigators have declined to provide details of the letter, which was not received by Zenya Hernandez until Nov. 6 when she checked a post office box in a neighboring town.
Kieran Ramsey, assistant special agent in charge of the FBI's New Hampshire office, said at a press conference last week that the letter was "unprecedented" and could indicate that Hernandez is being kept against her will.
"Our worst fear right now is that though she could have left willingly, someone may now be coercing her . . . manipulating her," Ramsey said.
According to authorities, Abby went to school on Oct. 9, went home and then simply vanished. Her cell phone pinged off a tower atop Mount Cranmore ski resort around 3:30 p.m. that afternoon, but has been untraceable since. Her disappearance came days before a planned 15th birthday celebration Investigators with her mom and sister Sarah, 18.
Even now Zenya Hernandez says she talks to her daughter in the house, forgetting for just a second the void that her absence has left in their house, a void that even the family's pet Pugs are feeling. It's the search, and her daughter Sarah, that keeps her moving.
"I feel like for me I have to continue searching, that's the best way I can cope actually," she said. "Every day I have to do something to continue to search for Abby."
The FBI asked anyone with information about the case to contact the FBI's toll free tip line at 800-CALL-FBI, Conway police at 603-356-5717, their local FBI office, or the nearest US embassy or consulate.
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